Are You the Perfect Mother?

I have a preconceived idea what the Perfect Mother is. She is always perfectly dressed. She never has spit up on her blouse or dirt under her finger nails. She is wearing pearls and heals as she goes about her day cleaning up after toddlers.  I love this picture..vintageacmYou know, always happy, house looks like it came out of house beautiful. Her kids are always perfectly well-behaved. Never cries, never says, ‘no’ when asked to clean up their toys and never have a dirty diaper much less a runny nose!

There was a time that I thought I had to be perfect. There was this ‘thing’ going on in the bloggysphere where one had this perfect life at all times that we blogged about. We never got upset or felt inadequate. We always have everything under control and we never felt overwhelmed. We had this ‘perfect churchy plastic’ face online. And,to be honest, a lot of was out of the need to be safe online. Or so we told ourselves.

I love all things vintage and I look back at my own childhood with rose-colored glasses. And I should, life was pretty good growing up. Loving and Christ following parents, great brothers and a pretty good life. Lots of good memories. As any mother, I wanted the best for my own children. I had this picture of how life should be.. like the lady in the image above….

But, living in a plastic bubble is hard, gives the wrong impression to others and is well, nothing but a lie. We blog because we are looking to connect in community but in reality, we just push each other away and put up walls. New mothers read our stuff and they think they are failing and can’t live up to this immense and unrealistic reality that we promoted.

I no longer desire to be the Perfect Mom. Or at least, what I thought was perfect. I want to be what He calls perfect.  I want to love perfectly and deeply. I want to be a mother of grace. Grace is defined as God’s unmerited favor. Kindness, steadfast love, mercy compassion.  When my child is messing up my perfectly just cleaned home, how do I react?  To be honest, my reactions are not always pretty but I am learning to ask forgiveness when needed. I am learning to live a life of prayer at most moments and that helps.  I am a normal mother, but one who lives in the Favor of God. I make mistakes and I lose my cool from time to time. I am a sinner who needs a Savior. I am a believer in the One Who forgives my sins so I can forgive others. I am human, flawed but loved so I can love others freely.

So, I am coming to ask your forgiveness .. I am not a Perfect Mother!

A Christian Mom Signature, word filled wednesday

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About Nancy Adams

Mrs A is the founder of Proverbs 31 Jewels. Blissfully married to Mr. A and mother of five gifts from heaven. A Coffee Loving, Child & Dog Chasing, Homeschooling mom and a college student attending Liberty University. She is a devoted Jesus Follower and loves to dig into the Word!

One thought on “Are You the Perfect Mother?

  1. This is an interesting and incredibly insightful message. It’s so sweet and precious to me personally because I struggle with the very same “what I’m SUPPOSED to be” image of a woman. She used to be much stronger a more powerful but just like me, she’s mellowed with years. She no longer holds crossed sticks with strings attached that are connected to my heart, making me dance the frantic dance of a mommy marionette. She doesn’t constantly whisper words of guilt and regret to which I immediately respond in some sacrificial and often self destructive manner. No. She’s changed. Make no mistake, she didn’t change quietly. She kicked, screamed, scratched and clawed the entire way but in time, I got smarter. As I got smarter and gained better understanding of God’s grace I became stronger. I started to realize that when I don’t take care of myself and make sure that my needs are met, I grow weaker and weaker. When that happens, I become less and less able to care for anyone else or meet others needs. So in fact the very response to her prodding was rendering me exactly what she was accusing me of being in the first place.

    She didn’t change willingly. She changed because I stopped listening to her continuous rants. As My strength grew in grace she grew weaker and less effective. She knew she no longer had a vice grip. I was slipping through her fingers, freed by the knowledge of who I am in Christ and who HE is in me.
    She still comes to visit occasionally and brings new things in her bag of tricks or tests out the old tactics just in case they might work again. But she never stays long and instinctively knows she isn’t welcome.

    Like I said, I relate to this post in a personal way but not just because of these things. It’s personal because I know Nancy. I know her well. I’ve been in her home. I know and adore her children and I have had the privilege of watching her raise them. I’ve been there with her when she agonized over making the right decisions as a wife and mother. What is so intriguing to me about this post is that Nancy IS the perfect mom. Okay, so she doesn’t wear pearls and pumps to do the vacuuming but she is so incredibly involved and invested in every single one of her children and in her husband. She loves each of them with every fiber of her being and gives of herself to them in ways I could never hope to accomplish. Not only do they know they are loved and adored, they have values and most important of all, they have Jesus. This Mom has imparted her knowledge of grace into each one of her cubs and I have gotten to watch.

    So the fact that Nancy felt inferior or as if she fell short in some way is somewhat mind boggling because I want to be like her when I “grow up”.

    Thank you Nancy for making yourself vulnerable and sharing your thoughts, honestly. If it opens up discussion and frees others, releasing them into a better knowledge of our Savior’s love then you have accomplished something great. Also, thanks for being my mom hero!

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