I have a preconceived idea what the Perfect Mother is. She is always perfectly dressed. She never has spit up on her blouse or dirt under her finger nails. She is wearing pearls and heals as she goes about her day cleaning up after toddlers. I love this picture..You know, always happy, house looks like it came out of house beautiful. Her kids are always perfectly well-behaved. Never cries, never says, ‘no’ when asked to clean up their toys and never have a dirty diaper much less a runny nose!
There was a time that I thought I had to be perfect. There was this ‘thing’ going on in the bloggysphere where one had this perfect life at all times that we blogged about. We never got upset or felt inadequate. We always have everything under control and we never felt overwhelmed. We had this ‘perfect churchy plastic’ face online. And,to be honest, a lot of was out of the need to be safe online. Or so we told ourselves.
I love all things vintage and I look back at my own childhood with rose-colored glasses. And I should, life was pretty good growing up. Loving and Christ following parents, great brothers and a pretty good life. Lots of good memories. As any mother, I wanted the best for my own children. I had this picture of how life should be.. like the lady in the image above….
But, living in a plastic bubble is hard, gives the wrong impression to others and is well, nothing but a lie. We blog because we are looking to connect in community but in reality, we just push each other away and put up walls. New mothers read our stuff and they think they are failing and can’t live up to this immense and unrealistic reality that we promoted.
I no longer desire to be the Perfect Mom. Or at least, what I thought was perfect. I want to be what He calls perfect. I want to love perfectly and deeply. I want to be a mother of grace. Grace is defined as God’s unmerited favor. Kindness, steadfast love, mercy compassion. When my child is messing up my perfectly just cleaned home, how do I react? To be honest, my reactions are not always pretty but I am learning to ask forgiveness when needed. I am learning to live a life of prayer at most moments and that helps. I am a normal mother, but one who lives in the Favor of God. I make mistakes and I lose my cool from time to time. I amÂ a sinner who needs a Savior. I am a believer in the One Who forgives my sins so I can forgive others. I am human, flawed but loved so I can love others freely.
So, I am coming to ask your forgiveness .. I am not a Perfect Mother!